I’ve effectively spent 24 hours in bed.
I jumped in as soon as I got back from work, with intentions of running. 3 movies later I fell asleep, certain that when I woke I would run.
I woke and turned on iPlayer.
Midday and I’m still sat in bed, curtains drawn, ignoring the outside world.
The afternoon moved in and I’ve made it out to swiftly gobble down a bowl of muesli.
I finally get out at 4.30pm.
Some would call this lazy.
A naive few depression.
I don’t like mixing with people. It has been the main reason why I have avoided swimming.
If I am not proficient I feel like all eyes are upon me.
When I am proficient it still feels like all eye are upon me, but there is less judgement.
As I said yesterday, I like the night time.
People can’t see who I am.
I prefer nighttime.
The pace of life slows down.
The air becomes lighter as the temperature drops.
Silence sweeps through.
Thoughts are more laboured, more rounded.
Life becomes simpler.
Yes when running the darkness can offer a threat of it’s own, and normal walkers become potential risks.
But they can’t see who I am.
I can be me.
I can be free.
On the 14th of September I take on Ironman Wales.
I am woefully unfit for swimming, which will be the first and the make or break event.
Mentally I am prepared and my lad based activities haven’t been too bad.
But in the water I’m like a floundering wilder beast.
Time to get my water wings.
I was hesitant to comment on the passing of Robbin Williams, however with the airtime it has been granted, and the conversations on depression and more over mental health I felt obliged to participate.
I will first off say that he was and still is an incredible human being. An original and extraordinary comedian and actor. Endurance athlete and fan. Giver. Yes he had his troubles, but we all do in varying degrees, and it is a testament to his character that he managed to produce incredible work and acts of humility despite this.
When I woke and learned of his passing, social media angered me. It seemed everyone was making their own tribute to a man they never knew. I appreciate his work left people with a connection, but it made me think “would people do this to john Smith, the quiet and reserved man who lives on every road, gets on with his life, helps the local community and bothers no one.” My answer was unanimous, “no.”
I feel it is a shame and a real issue that it takes someone of world wide fame taking their own life to open a debate on mental health. Overnight everyone became an expert and declared that things must change, we need to treat things seriously. But will they?
These people on the whole are the same who will carry out the same actions when someone shares an image of a abused animal, deforested area or sick child. There is no harm in that. BUT. Will they take action themselves and see the cause through. No. Most will leap to the daily cause for concern, changing little and filling up social media with empty shouts and calls for social change.
We can shout all we want, but until we act, what is their worth?
I’ve neglected this page for sometime.
This shall change.
But in the mean time, the following is to be accomplished in the next 3 months of competition:
258.6 miles on running
112 miles on bike
2.4 miles swimming at sea
The high of Everest will be climbed at one event alone.
Something to think about.